Shared use permission

How can I allow my wife to arm disarm the security camera etc

I don’t currently have any of the Cameras but I presume yes as you can allow others to arm and disarm the alarm system.

You need to set you Wife up as a user in your app (Settings > Users) then share the link with her. Whilst doing this you should see a list of devices that can be shared with her. She will then need to create a ring account and accept your invitation.